I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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