Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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