you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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