hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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