yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
