i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
