Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
