is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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