You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
