Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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