we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
