that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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