I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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