also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm sobbing to NWA
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize