No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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