hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
