It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
