Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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