I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
