Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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