Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My penis needs a shock collar
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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