They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
