she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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