I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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