I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
