you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
