You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
