Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
