doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
this boner is exhausting
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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