You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
