Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize