ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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