You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
