having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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