anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize