Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
