I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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