Soap is not a condiment
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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