he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize