you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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