People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize