I think i peed on brittanys purse
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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