Rock
Scissors
Fuck
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
