Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
