I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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