But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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