At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
