I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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