i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
