Define "chronic" masturbator.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
