So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
