Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
