i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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