he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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