how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
