i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
