brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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