Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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