Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
